Friday, June 10, 2011

Family Connections - Taking Note

Vera and Rube, early on.

All day today, emails and messages have been pouring in from all the folks who loved Vera and will miss her presence on earth.  We drove from Ocean Isle to Atlanta - the first leg in the trip to Mississippi to take Vera to be buried by her husband, Harold.  Coming down I-20, there weren't many words spoken...I was thinking about Vera and what she had meant to me, and my husband was firing random shots at the world.  All you women out there know what I mean.

Patiently, I admired, agreed, and fluffed up his arguments.  But the whole time, I was thinking about the amazing outpouring of love and support for Vera in her last weeks of life.  All of us should be so lucky.  And I guess Lucky is not the operative word here, for Vera worked very, very hard on her family connections.  She knew that those connections and commitment were the backbone of life.  What makes it all worthwhile, and what rewards you in the end with the loving care that you need when you are helpless.  She wasn't in a Nursing Home, she was At Home, and her family gathered around her to feed her, bathe her, and smooth her down with the particular sensitivity that comes from knowing her intimately, and loving her unconditionally. 

Somehow, a lot of us forget or discard those connections.  When we gather for the occasional funeral or reunion, we are uplifted and renewed by connecting with other family members, and then we retreat back to our nests, fluffing and nudging every twig and feather back to the position that brings us comfort.  Only problem is, we forget that we won't be able to do that forever.  And when we are unable to lift even a twig, or fluff the nest, that's when family comes to the rescue.

Rube's Paternal Grandparents.  Who were crazy in love.

And hugs us just exactly like we want to be hugged.

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